December 1, 2023

New Malaysia Times

Blog News Impose Expose

Solve this mystery… Who Am I?

In the 70-80’s, I headed an Islamic youth movement. My movement, along with an Islamic party and then a Malay party I joined later, were all responsible for the rise of the Super Malays and the Super Islamists.

When I was Education Minister, I changed Bahasa Malaysia to be called Bahasa Melayu. I even made the language sound Indonesian, where many of the Malays originated from anyway.

As a result, I won brownie points with the Super Malays. Big brownie points. After all, I proved that I am Malay first. Malaysia? Apa tu?

So I was rising up the ladder of that Malay party I joined until I became Finance Minister, and Deputy Prime Minister. I thought I was powerful enough to take on my master.

Attention seeker

My master even made me Acting Prime Minister for few months. This was when I made a move to undermine my master. But I was a bit stupid then, I didn’t do it covertly because, hey, I’m an attention seeker.

In the late 90s, I “kena game” by the Yahudi, George Soros. My country suffered.

And then in 1998, I was beaten by my master at the biggest chess game I ever played. I ‘kena game’ by my master after I tried to ‘game’ his friends.

Equality and Justice for the Rakyat

In retaliation, I riled up everybody. I riled up my Super Malays followers, I riled up my Super Islamist friends, but I also needed support from the Super Liberals.

So I cosyied up with the Super Liberals. I had to change my stand of Malay Supremacy and Islamic Supremacy into Equality and Justice for the Rakyat! I suddenly turned Malaysian First!

I “invoked” Reformasi. I said this is injustice. I claimed to have evidence of corruptions which even after 20 years and my wife is the second most powerful official in the country, I still haven’t shown those evidence.

But who cares? People forgot already. Who cares if I riled up the country based on my lies?

Jailed for sodomy

I was jailed. I fought but failed. And then my master retired. I was freed by his successor after serving time for abuse of power and unfair sodomy conviction.

Then, I was leader of the opposition again. But I “kena game” by my own favourite PA. I masuk jail for sodomy again. I memang bodoh sikit, because I really don’t know how to avoid kena jail. I only know how to “kena game” by people.

I had great lawyers but if I myself couldn’t avoid situations that would put me in such troubles, then great lawyers also no point lah.

Famous Langkah 

Oh by the way, I’m famous for making Langkah… I Langkah here, I Langkah there… but every Langkah I took, I ‘kena game’ somehow

Liberals fought for me

Despite everything, the loudest voice that was against my jailings had always been the Super Liberals.

Eventually, I’m free again. Now I want to be PM again. But the Super Liberals don’t like me anymore.

So, I’m playing the Super Malays and Super Islamist game again. I’m very pragmatic you know, when I want the support of the Super Liberals, I’ll play their songs. When I don’t need them anymore, I play the songs the hate. Because I’m a chameleon lah… you don’t know meh? You bodoh lah.

Anyhow, when I was growing up, I wanted to be a PM. Soon, with the Super Malays and Super Islamists, I’ll grow up and be PM.

When I grow up, I want to ‘kena game’ at the risk of my country

Soon when I’m Prime Minister, I will get to “kena game” by the likes of Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin and Xi Jinpeng. Before this, the risk was only myself and my family. Now, I can risk my whole country!

I want to be PM but why would my country want an idiot who kept “kena game” by even the stupidest moron called Saiful as their PM? I don’t know lah, but who cares! I just want to be PM!

Stand up against the Super Liberals!

The big mystery is, Who Am I?

– By Mujahidin Zulkiffli