{"id":8795,"date":"2021-03-23T12:29:16","date_gmt":"2021-03-23T04:29:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/newmalaysiatimes.com\/?p=8795"},"modified":"2021-03-23T12:29:17","modified_gmt":"2021-03-23T04:29:17","slug":"coping-with-the-psychological-scars-of-sugar-dating","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newmalaysiatimes.com\/?p=8795","title":{"rendered":"Coping With The Psychological Scars Of Sugar Dating"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The sugar baby-sugar daddy issue was thrust into the limelight early last month after media reports emerged that Malaysia held the dubious distinction of having the third-highest number of sugar daddies in Asia. This second of four articles on this issue takes a look at the psychological impact of \u2018sugar dating\u2019 on former sugar babies.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

KUALA LUMPUR<\/strong> \u2013 The days of sugar dating may be long over but the psychological scars may remain for ages. Yes, when a girl decides to call it a day after a stint as a sugar baby, trauma, depression and emotional problems may ensue. \u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, the trauma of the illicit relationships she has had in her days as a sugar baby may make it hard for her to have intimate relations with her husband after she gets married.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

International Islamic University Malaysia Faculty of Psychology lecturer Dr. Pamilia Lourdunathan said some former sugar babies find it challenging to forge a meaningful relationship with a person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most sugar babies are known to be students in their late teens or early 20s who are at a stage where the prefrontal cortex of their brain has still not fully matured. This is the part of the brain that enables an individual to solve problems, control their emotions, understand themselves and make decisions with regard to moral and ethical issues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to Pamilia, when a girl in her late teens is offered RM2,000 a month to serve as a sugar baby, she is likely to be tempted to take the bait as her brain is not able to assess the morality of the offer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd, since sugar babies mingle with people much older than them, there is a high tendency for their perceptions to be shaped by their abnormal experiences,\u201d she told Bernama. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"sugar<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

LOVE AND AFFECTION<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pamilia said in some cases, the sugar baby may end up developing feelings of love and affection towards her sugar daddy who may be the first person she has entered into a close relationship with.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhen her sugar daddy decides to leave her, she will be emotionally wrecked. She may not be able to accept the reality and may experience depression, stress, trauma and eating disorders,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This emotional torment, she added, can be linked to Stockholm Syndrome which is also the reason why some sugar babies end up taking drugs or having physical relations even though they are tortured or forced to do so by their sugar daddies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the psychological make-up of sugar daddies or, for that matter, sugar mummies, Pamilia said they usually comprise high-ranking men and women who are probably lonely and in search of companionship.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If they are wealthy to boot, they may desire to \u201cinvest\u201d in a relationship. Money gives them access to young and vulnerable individuals who are willing to attend to all their needs and requests, she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some sugar daddies and mummies would eventually repent and attribute their \u201cshenanigans\u201d to the mid-life crisis they were facing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This crisis explained Pamelia, usually happens when a person is undergoing a phase in their life labeled as generativity versus stagnation, according to the theory of psychosocial development by\u00a0well-known psychologist Erik Erikson.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This stage takes place during middle adulthood between the ages of approximately 40 and 65 and this \u201ccan have consequences on a person\u2019s self-concept and image, causing them to avoid the realities of this world and desiring to live in a world created by them\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

PARADIGM SHIFT
<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Meanwhile, Muslim teachers group Ikatan Guru-Guru Muslim Malaysia (i-Guru) president Mohd Azizee Hassan views the sugar baby, sugar daddy issue as a form of manipulation by capitalists who are encouraging the proliferation of social ills and destroying the family institution through their online sugar dating sites and applications.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It involves not only individuals who offer \u201crewards\u201d in exchange for companionship and even sexual favours but also girls who are willing to take up their offers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe existence of this immoral activity can be attributed to many factors, among them being the materialistic urge to support their living costs such as payment of college fees and enjoy a luxurious lifestyle,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Other factors include the existence of mobile sugar dating applications that provide easy access to potential sugar daddies and sugar babies, lack of love and attention from parents and fragile religious beliefs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Urging the government to shut down any website or application promoting unhealthy activities, Mohd Azizee said if the issue is not tackled properly, sugar baby activities will become the norm in Malaysian society.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

He also feels that institutions of higher learning, in their zeal to stress on academic excellence, have neglected to focus on character building which is important to prevent the young generation from falling into the trap of social ills.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf this (shortage) is overcome in an integrated and holistic manner, the institutions concerned will succeed in their efforts to produce human beings who are balanced in terms of their spiritual, physical, intellectual and emotional aspects,\u201d he said, adding that spiritual development is the basis of developing other human faculties.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

On his recommendation to the Ministry of Higher Learning to create a character-building programme for students, Mohd Azizee said he feels that the nation\u2019s educational orientation is in need of a paradigm shift and a fresher approach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe paradigm shift I\u2019m referring to is in terms of substance (programme content). There must be an emphasis on the application of spiritual and character development elements in any university\u2019s curriculum and syllabus, as well as co-curricular activities.   <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe have to return to the roots of knowledge and the roots of virtues. The integration of knowledge and character building is the best model to produce graduates who are knowledgeable, balanced, competitive and resilient,\u201d he added.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Translated by Rema Nambiar<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BERNAMA<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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